"Sit back, relax and enjoy the flight"

What the?!?! Are you serious, "enjoy the flight!" Sitting at 34,000+ feet above the minuscul ground is not my favorite place to be. It has taken me months - scratch that, years - for me to get the courage to even walk into an airport. The next 48 hours will be filled with tremendous anxiety and a need to see/hug/talk to everyone I've ever known. I'm trying to keep myself busy, packing/cleaning/laundry/pedicures, because only that kind of Tazmanian-devil type action can take my mind of the "F" word. *whisper* - FLYING.
 I love to travel, if I could just drive, it would be sooooo much better! I have everyone saying a prayer at 3:46 on Thursday for the plane. I will pet the plane before I board it and tell it I love it and not to hurt my family. I will possibly give a quick peek into the cockpit to make sure the pilots look busy, fit and sober. Then again, maybe I won't, maybe I will just walk blindfolded. Which is better?
I will find my seat, immediately pop some Xanax, rub my essential oils *THANKS LAURA* all over my body, plug my iPod into my ears and close my eyes. Hopefully even with all these things I will still be in control, just in case they need me to help fly the plane.
Then the dreaded words of "Sit back, relax and enjoy the flight" will come over the loudspeaker. I will laugh *or cry* Just get me to Disney in one piece. Last flight we took to Disney I sat in the chair crying silently, paralyzed with fear, with a death grip on the armrest and my poor 5 year old child. I didn't want my kids to see me like this again, so Xanax will become my new best friend.
For the next two hours and 10 minutes I will silently keep praying - I will also once in awhile take a peek at the flight attendants' faces to judge if I should be scared or not.
The next thing I will listen for is when the pilot says we've hit our half-way mark. Yay! We are home-free...the pilots are all on their game and they know how to fly the plane! I will hopefully start to relax. I might even take a peek out the window. By now the Xanax is at full steam.
I know this is an irrational fear. Flying is much safer then driving...yeah, yeah, I've heard that a hundred times in the past 2 weeks. So please if you see me before I leave don't say, "Safe Travels" Why would you say that if flying is safer then driving?!?! Just say, "See ya later!" or possibly give me more Xanax.