How I wish the hospital handed you a parenting manual at the same time they hand you that little bundle of joy...

BUT THEY DON'T...it's all for you to figure out, on your own time.

"You're NOT the boss of me!" shouts the 6 year old in our house. I think he's trying to figure out who he truly is and how to interact with us, his parents. The parents on the other hand are trying to figure out where this defiant attitude and rudeness is coming from.

One moment he can be the sweetest little boy, for example yesterday on the way home he says to me, "Mommy, you know what I like best about Christmas? I like best that we are all together, you know, as a family." It melts my heart when I hear my children say something like this...it's so hard to for all of us to be in the same spot at one time anymore. But it shouldn't be hard. I get so caught up in other things I'm doing, I sometimes don't put the family first I believe. That makes me extremely sad. These children are a blessing not a birthright. My husband and I chose to have them and sometimes I don't feel like I'm there for them.

My New Years resolution this year is going to be as follows, My goal is to eat at least 3 meals together as a family each week. AND we are all going to sit at the same table, just not in the same house. If something else comes up, I plan to work around this...because my first priority will be to eat those 3 meals together. The kids are growing up too fast and I don't want to miss it.

So, back to the 6 year old terror in the house.

When parents speak, they demand the child's attention...but I notice myself walking around the house with my iPhone in my hand and while they are talking to me I'm staring at my phone. I'm not giving them the same respect I expect in return. So starting tonight when I get home, my phone is going on the kitchen counter...I'm not carrying it around with me. Perhaps the 6 year old feels not respected and in return doesn't want to show respect.
This is the first thing I am going to work on to become a better parent. Once I get this accomplished, I will move on to the next thing.

Wish me luck!

Well it happened...not when I was expecting it, but at 4AM this morning. I was expecting to have a sit down conversation when I wasn't half asleep and when I could concentrate and answer the questions that were sure to come to the best of my knowledge.
My oldest entered our room at 4AM this morning, he had tears in his eyes and looked terrified. I figured it was a bad dream or a dreaded stink bug (my oldest is TERRIFIED of stink bugs) I sat up and he embraced me...a hug I haven't felt in a long time...a hug that I didn't want to end. I could feel the terror and confusion in his little body. I wanted to make everything right and tell him everything would be OK, that he had nothing to worry about, but no words came....we just hugged. I started to cry, I knew the question that was coming...
"Mommy...do you think anyone would ever bring a gun to our school?"

I hugged him again.

I searched my brain for answers, the right answers. What I wanted to say vs. What I should say.

"Bad things happen sometimes, there are some not nice people in the world, but you have great teachers and friends and family...people that will protect you no matter what." And then my thoughts shifted to the sermon I had heard at church yesterday morning. "Did you take notice to all the helpers God sent to help the people going through this horrible incident? There are so many good people in the world willing to help in anyway they can."

His reply was simple and astounding. "No matter what, God is with me."

I'm not going to go into great detail, but my son and I talked for a good hour or so. I answered many questions, we cried and we hugged. I reassured him many times of how much JD and I love him, how much people in our community love him and how much God loves him.

It was a hard conversation and I know there will still be more questions to come. But I dropped him off at school today and treated it as any other day. I gave him a big bear hug and a kiss on the cheek and told him, "Have a great day! And buddy, I LOVE YOU!!"

He rolled his eyes and whispered, "I love you too!"

The Bedtime...ROUTINE

Well today's a better day then yesterday I must admit, but last night was just the right ending to a horrible day.
I read a blog a few months ago where the mother called bedtime the whack-a-mole game and after last night I couldn't agree more! It's funny, but bedtime in the Dyson household IS just like playing a real life game of whack-a-mole (the kids being those pesky moles, of course). Every night it's the same thing, we start getting the kids ready for bed around 7:30 or 8:00 because we know that they won't be asleep till at least 10:00 *roll of eyes* My husband and I also like to stay involved in many other things so it's usually just one of us here at bedtime...and we try to take turns.
Here's the routine: The boys alternate bath nights so for example; my oldest is Monday night, middle is second night and our youngest (the princess) gets a bath when we can get her in the bathroom and she's still enough to sit in the tub for more then 2 minutes.
So last night it was the middle son's turn...after he got his bath, he then gets 10 minutes of TV time to just calm down a little...some nights there is absolutely no calming down and other nights it seems to work well...last night was one of those nights that it didn't work very well. I was upstairs filling the dishwasher and I thought all three kids were relaxing on the couch watching Rudolph...NOPE! I looked downstairs and it looked like a cyclone hit...(this was 10 minutes after I had cleaned the whole room) where did Kemp get the mop, is my question?!?! And where is Joey?
ANYWAY... it was time to round them all up and head upstairs...the dreaded bedtime...when all I wanted to do is sit down on the couch in front of the fire and be quiet...just stare of into space, thinking about nothing...
I put the boys in their beds, tucked them in, got them ice cold water in their cups, turned on the night light, turned off the lizard light...I couldn't think of anything else they might need (even though I knew as soon as I left, there would be 100 things they would need) I kissed them both and said good night...now don't get out of bed UNLESS you have to use the bathroom then go straight back to bed. *This is the same thing said every night* I closed their door and headed toward the dreaded Emma's room...I got her some water, got her baby stuffed jaguar, stuffed tiger, stuffed scooby doo, put the stuffed Dora beside her bed on the rocking chair, sat the stuffed Minnie doll at the end of her bed and turned the turtle light on. *Just after doing all of that one is exhausted* She crawled up in bed and I started to read her "The Grinch" *I have to admit I skipped a few pages...but somehow his heart still grew three sizes that day* I tucked her in and gave her a kiss on the forehead. She sweetly looked up at me and asked me to sing her a song...I chose "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" I sang it really fast, probably a little too loud and through clenched teeth...I just wanted to sit down. Finished..."Good night Emma, Sweet Dreams..." I made my escape. I got an ice cold glass of water in the kitchen and headed downstairs..excited to sit and stare blankly at the TV. I nuzzled into the corner of the couch (I chose not to look at the room), covered up with the softest blanket and got comfy...BOOM! I hear feet hit the floor upstairs...First it's Joey, "Mommy?" Me: "Yes, Joey?" Joey: "I need a pencil." Me: "Why? Please go to bed." Joey: "I'm making Kemper's Christmas present." Me: "There's one in the kitchen, make it quick." He returns upstairs. I turn on the TV. BOOM! Kemp appears. Tell Daddy to wake my up to watch the meteor shower. Me: "we'll do, now go to bed." I unpause the TV as I hear him heading up the stairs. BOOM! Pause the TV. Joey appears: "I need scissors" Me: "In the kitchen, please go to bed." Unpause the TV...watch 10 seconds BOOM! Pause TV. Joey appears: "I need tape." Me: "Tomorrow, now go to bed." Unpause TV, 5 minutes of Parenthood watched. Emma appears. Pause TV. Emma: "Me not tired, Me can't sleep" She starts doing somersaults. Me: "Fine, lay down here beside me. Emma: "I forgot Baby Jaguar...*high-pitched squeal* I.NEED.BABY.JAGUAR. I go upstairs and search for baby jaguar...where did she put that thing, he was just here! I crawl under her bed...there he is in the back...get baby jaguar, go out in the hallway. Of course, there's Joey. "What are you doing?" Me: I'm getting Emma's stuffed animal, please just go to bed. Joey retreats...Kemp appears. "What are you doing?" Me: *through cleanced teeth and raised eyebrows* "Getting Baby Jaguar for Emma...GO TO SLEEP!" I've lost it now, my temper has surfaced...I stomp downstairs...here's baby jaguar Emma, please SIT down! Emma: "But me not tired" She says as she jumps on the couch...up and down, up and down, up and down...I sit on the floor. BOOM! Joey appears..."My water isn't cold anymore, I need ice...it's warm" Me: You know where the water and ice is. Emma: "Me wanna watch Dora!! Me wanna watch Dora!! Me: "It's bedtime! Dora is asleep." I give in to her demands...I'm so tired, I just want to sit down so I give in.
Kemp appears: "Is daddy home yet?" I didn't say anything...I gave him THE look...he retreated to his room.

JD arrives home a few minutes later. Emma is still bouncing on the couch. "DADDY!!!" She runs upstairs, now she's really awake and excited. I crawl under blanket on couch and disappear a few minutes. Daddy and Emma come back downstairs. We watch "The Little Engine that could" 11:34, she's still not asleep. I doze off...I wake up at 12:07 in a panic...where is everybody...I go to get off the couch and here's what I found................................................................>

She has passed out! We put her to bed, I return downstairs to watch a show with JD...

within 10 minutes I'm sound asleep.

I will miss these days, right???

Just can't get it right

It's weird how some days you just can't get it right, but other days you feel like nothing can go wrong...and those days can happen one right after the other...it doesn't matter if you are on cloud nine one day, the very next you could be sinking in your own spit.
Today is one of those sinking in my own spit kind of days...I should have stayed in bed...but if I would have done that even more people would be upset with me.
I try not to have "bad" days, but sometimes it's just unavoidable. BUT then again, it is only 11am, this day has the possibility of turning itself around.
OK, as I sit here and stare out the window and have a conversation in my head about why this day is so bad, I can't come up with any one answer. It just is...and here I sit alone, listening to Jimi Hendrix on Pandora. It's also weird how my Pandora station knows my mood in the morning...is there a little magical person hiding in my computer? And they can see if I'm smiling, crying or scowling when I open it up?
All I can say is thank goodness for this blog...it's pure therapy for me.

Joe Purdy sang:
"I just can't seem, to get it right today
I just can't seem, to get it right today
I just can't seem, to get it right today
I guess I'm gonna give up
Oh, I guess I'm gonna give up.

I'm sorry if I made you wanna cry
I'm sorry if I made you wanna cry
You should know I never meant to hid
I just hate bringing' you down
Oh, I just hate bringing' you down."

It's a miserable song...it makes me sad. I wish life was all rainbows and DisneyWorld trips and anything else that makes you happy. BUT it's not...life is filled with arguments, grouchy people, bills, death, sickness and other nasty things. OK, Rhonda turn this day around...

The arguments are a BLESSING because it means you have people in your life to argue with...people that care about you and are arguing because they want the best for you.
The grouchy people are a BLESSING because it means you have people in your life to be a ray of sunshine too...brighten their day, don't let their grouchiness bring you down.
The bills are a BLESSING because it means you have things to pay for like heat, a home, electric and many other things.
Death can be a BLESSING because it means someone was here to share their life and you got to know them while they were here and share in the gifts they had.
Sickness can be a BLESSING because it helps you realize how amazing your family and friend are and it makes you thankful for health when good health returns.

Now, believe it or not, Pandora is playing, "I am a Man of Constant Sorrow" by the Soggy Bottom Boys...

What should I name the magical person in my computer?!?!

OK...it's gonna be a good day.
"You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So...get on your way!" ~Dr. Seuss

How OLD am I?

I remember when I was younger, specifically my 5th birthday, it couldn't get here fast enough. I wanted a Barbie Dreamhouse, nothing could be better, nothing. My birthday happened to be on a Saturday that year so I got to have a small party at my house....oh, how excited I was! Everybody arrived and since it was winter we had to play in my bedroom, about 5 or 6 squealing girls, running around a very tiny house as my mom followed us around and made sure nothing got broken. The dining room table was all decorated with a big cake, colorful balloons, red and blue streamers, it was perfect....Then came the moment to open the presents...the moment I had been looking forward too all day! BUT, there were no boxes big enough to be a Barbie dream house... :( I figured it MUST be in pieces and wrapped up separately to fool me...yeah, that's it...my parents (especially my dad) were always jokesters. I opened up every gift and they were cool, but no Barbie dream house...there was one box left, it was from my grandfather (I knew this box did not hold a Barbie dream house). I opened it up slowly and in the box, there was a pair of binoculars. I immediately burst into tears. BINOCULARS!! What was a 5 year old girl going to do with binoculars?
I look back on this moment now and I can't believe how selfish and spoiled I acted. (I'm curling my nose up right now and making a face at myself).
The day went on and my friends and I had a blast and everything was fine, but at that one moment I felt like my life was in shambles...yes, shambles...over a stinking toy!

Now, I'm facing my 34th or 35th birthday today (I don't keep track anymore, I just know I'm getting older and getting gray hair) The gray hair I noticed over the weekend while I was in a local community theatre play...blast those dressing room lights for pointing so many hairs out to me!

It's funny how presents don't matter anymore, all I want are hugs from my family and smiles and to know that everyone is happy. My middle child gave me a gift this morning. He made a moon in school for me. He explained that I could look at this moon whenever I am sad or scared and think of him and know that if it is night time, he is looking at the moon also and thinking of me. I sat in my car after I dropped the boys off at school and cried. It was the sweetest thing. Small acts of kindness like that are just the BEST!! It also amazes me the amount of friends on Facebook that stop and take time to wish me a Happy Birthday! You sometimes get up in the morning, in a rush to get everybody where they need to go and don't think about how blessed you really are. LIFE IS GOOD! I wouldn't change a thing. Sometimes I hate going to work, sometimes I grumble about how messy the house is, sometimes my kids don't move fast enough, sometimes my husband and I just can't seem to get on the same page, sometimes there is just disarray everywhere, BUT no matter what I have been blessed with a WONDERFUL husband, 3 CARING children, many FUNNY and IRREPLACEABLE friends, a WARM house, ENOUGH money to pay the bills, LOVING parents and, that my friends, is the BEST birthday gift ever!

WHAT?!?!

I love working in the advertising field...I really do! Yes, it has it's down times, times when I wish I would have never spent 4+ years of my life studying it...but most of the time I really enjoy it and it gives me many laughs. (Which, in my opinion you should have at least 1 good belly laugh a day)

When it was time for me to decide what to do with the rest of my life, I enrolled in college. I enrolled as an undecided major and spent as much time undecided as I possibly could. I started to lean toward a social work degree in my sophomore year, then I moved towards psychology in the second half of my sophomore year, then it was onto a teaching degree in my junior year (unfortunately my advisor told me I would never make it as a teacher that I should just find a different major) Wow! He was pretty blunt! I then moved to a communication/journalism degree in the second half of my junior year. I liked it...my favorite part was broadcasting media. I thought for sure I was going to be the next weather girl on ABC27 news in Harrisburg.
In the meantime, I was changing part-time jobs rapidly from cashier, pizza maker, jewelry salesperson, deli clerk, WTPA disc jockey covering the Hershey Bears games to front-desk person at the local newspaper. My boyfriend and I were also busy planning our wedding at this time.
My last semester of college I finally figured out what I wanted to do, I wanted to do computer graphics! It was artistic and fun! AND the local paper I started at was hiring a graphic artist...PERFECT TIMING! The last week of finals was also my last week as a single woman... (yes I was that crazy person that plans their wedding while taking finals) I took my last final on Friday and was married on Saturday evening. AND I got the job as a part-time graphic artist at a place I already knew everybody and how everything worked!
But now 5 or so years later (OK, that might be a little fib) I think it's time to change careers. Don't get me wrong, I still love doing graphics...I find it fun and a great way to be creative (most of the time). I don't think I will ever truly leave this field...I have many good memories from it. For example:

1. Never abbreviate Assorted...No one wants to eat Ass' donuts
2. I can't go to a restaurant without critiquing the menu design.
3. There is never a time that you should use Comic Sans...NEVER
4. Fux is so close to fax and will not be caught by spellcheck...Please fux us 000-000-0000....
5. Restaurants very rarely served masked potatoes for Thanksgiving.
6. You never turn your clocks forward by turning them cockwise.
7. Kerning is very important...(this is the space between each letter) For example: If you wish to say Just a click away and the c and l are too close, it will end of saying Just a dick away.
8. Pubic and Public are very close in spelling, though they mean two entirely different things.
9. As a graphic designer you don't want to hear "I need the design in Word so I can make changes myself." WHAT?!?!
10. I do not know how to add and subtract, so don't even ask me. I do understand letters and fonts though :)
11. Make sure you get the right vowel when talking about a great deck for entertaining..."Huge dick for entertaining" doesn't quite paint the same picture

So where do I go from here? I wish I knew. Each day is a new adventure :)

I was exhausted and brain dead when I got home from play practice last night around 9:30.  All I wanted to do was go to bed, stare blankly at my phone, play some Words with Friends, and nod off to sleep. It was about 10:30 when Joey walked down the hall to use the bathroom. I was alone in our room (JD had fallen asleep in Emma's room) and I watched him hobble down the hallway bumping into the only 2 walls between his room and the bathroom. I heard the toilet flush and here came Joey wide-eyed into our bedroom. I asked if he was OK and he said, God just whispered to me. Now, this is not the first time Joey has talked about God talking to him and telling him things, so I wasn't surprised.

I asked him what God said this time...he said, "God whispered in my ear, WAKE UP JOEY! WAKE up and put up the toilet seat so you don't pee on it. Your mom would not be happy if you peed on the seat." I told Joey how smart God was...

I thought that would be the end of our conversation, but he plopped himself down on the edge of the bed and started telling me about all the times God has talked to him. Now, if you know Joey, he is quite an amazing little man. He has the most amazing memory and can recall things that happened to him when he was just a baby. Things we have never told him about, but things he can clearly remember...it amazes JD and I all the time. It sends chills up my spine when Joey talks about his encounters with God and humbles me at the same time.

Joey left me with these words of wisdom last night before he went to bed. "Just listen...I'm sure He will talk to you, if you just listen."

I fell asleep and dreamt of a relative that passed away a few years ago. He was a great man...someone who was always happy, always willing to help out anyway he could. I loved him. In my dream we were playing baseball together and I introduced him to all my kids...he hugged them all, and then hugged me...I woke up crying. The last real memory I have of him is dancing with him at my wedding. It was the last time I saw him walk...he was put in a wheelchair a few months later.

So Joey, I'm listening...this is what I heard. Be thankful for the time you get to spend with your family and friends...cherish every moment, even if there is nothing extraordinary about the moment...Cherish it.

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections." 

~ unknown

Even though I couldn't care less about which celebrity wore it best, I listened to the cashier at a local convenience store about 10 minutes this morning talk about it.

This little old lady, with her half buttoned smock and eye shadow up to her eyebrows waits on me almost every morning I go there. She always seems so happy.

At first I thought she was just faking a happy face, making the best of a situation I didn't know about. After all, she couldn't be happy working at the convenience store everyday, could she? BUT I was missing the biggest part of why I was happy when I saw her there...she DOES enjoy her job. She seems happy.....because SHE IS happy!

My life doesn't always look like I want it to. I spend many days going into work, when I'd rather work from home or from a beach-side office that I share with some other equally artistic people as me. I drive an old VW Passat, when I'd prefer a brand new Jeep Wrangler or Saab convertible.

But seriously, would the world change all that much if I had more money, a different job, or a nicer car? The wrapping paper would be different, but the gifts inside would stay the same.

The way I feel about myself; how much I open myself to new people and new experiences; how often I choose to smile or laugh just because it feels good. None of these things depend on my life situation.

So I'm gonna work hard on the following things:

1. Enjoy the present moment.  

2. Notice and appreciate the details. Enjoy the little things and your happiness will grow.  Think about things that fill you with joy...spending time with your kids, riding your bike, watching a movie with some good friends. Focus on those things, and let them brighten your day. That way, no matter what changes, you'll have a variety of simple pleasures to help you through.

3. Everyday is a new opportunity to be better then yesterday. Look at the things you do as opportunities to get better from one day to the next.

4. Always ask yourself - "How can I be that person I want to be in this moment?"

5. Find joy in the present moment - happiness is a moment-to-moment choice, one that many have a hard time making. Other people will notice if you make that choice. AND you will motivate them to do the same..

HAPPINESS is about how you interpret what's in front of you. How proud you are of the way you live your life. How willing you are to enjoy simple pleasures, even if things aren't perfect.

"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple."

 ~ Dr. Seuss

The hubster and I were going through old photos on our phones last night and we stumbled upon this photo. I pretty much had blocked when this photo was taken out of my mind and when I saw the photo, I just wanted to cry.

Here's the story: It was October 5, 2010 I got home from work around 4:45 that night and started supper just like normal. The kids were running around, hyper as ever and all I wanted to do was sit down and watch some TV after they went to bed...and just vege out.

My husband and I got our kids in bed around 7:30 and I sayed to him, "Emma is getting sick, she's really fussy and feels a little warm." No big deal, right? WRONG.

Around 10:00 pm Emma awoke and came downstairs to where I was relaxing watching TV. My husband was in the other room working on some report he had to do for his college class. She was crying and stumbling around like she was still asleep. I felt her head, she was burning up. We took her temp, 102.something...eeeekkkk....I gave her Tylenol and sent her back to bed. 11:00pm, Emma returned downstairs. I put her on the couch beside and began to rub her back. When my hand touched her back I quickly yanked it away...she was BURNING up...so hot, that my hand started sweating...just from touching her back. I called JD in...we had just given the poor thing a dose of Tylenol an hour before, her temp should be going down, not up. We decide to take her to the ER. We figured it was just a normal earache with a high fever. 

I get a call around midnight...sobbing on the other end...a very worried husband. "Can you get your mom to come over?" I said, "Why?" JD: "They want to take Emma for some tests, I don't know what's going on... her fever is up to 104.7. I call my mom, she's at our house in 10 minutes...I rush to the ER...many thoughts going through my head...104.7!!! She could go into a coma...

I get to the ER and my baby is laying on the table...she's so hot and they are pumping her full of drugs trying to get her temp down...NOTHING is working...NOTHING. They start doing all kinds of tests...tests that would make any baby cry...but my baby isn't crying...she's not doing anything but laying there with a blank stare...she holds my hand and I start to cry...it was terrible, a feeling of such helplessness, and no one knew what to do...the doctors were rushing around...fever was 105.2 by now...and still nothing was happening. Emma got admitted. After about the 5 dose of medicine, her fever went down to 104.1...which is still terrible, but at least it went down. She was hooked up to IV's, put in a crib and I was told not to touch her too much....WHAT?!?!?! My husband and I took turns throughout the next few nights and days of staying with her and one of us trying to make it through the day with the boys. Trying to act normal and trying to make it through the days, still not knowing what was going on with Emma. No answers.

The third night as I sat beside her crib in the terrible plastic recliner in the hospital, I prayed. I said one simple prayer with more feeling then I think I've ever prayed with before. "Dear Lord, Please help my little girl." That's all I said. I didn't want answers, I just wanted Emma to be happy again. As the nurses kept coming in that night to check her vitals...each time her temp got better. The nurses were amazed. They had no explanation. It had been 3 days with a temp of 104 or higher and all of the sudden, each hour her temp would drop another degree....finally her temp was at 99...I could hold her... :) In fact, I had to go to the bathroom and Emma wouldn't let me! She cried and wanted me to take her with me...I was happy too! The one time in my life I was happy to go to the bathroom with my child in tow. The next day she was discharged. Her temp had stayed down for 12 hours with no medicine. The sickness had gone as quickly as it had came.

So...the questions were complicated...what happened? Why was Emma's fever so high? 

The answers were simple...PRAY! 

COULROPHOBIA

YOU ARE CONSIDERED A FRIEND IF and ONLY IF YOU HAVE NORMAL-SIZED FEET and a NON-BALL-SHAPED NOSE...

My 3 year old daughter, NOT afraid of clowns. My 6 & 8 year old sons, NOT afraid of clowns. I like to think I'm a somewhat brave person. But there is one area in which I am a complete and total wimp. CLOWNS. They are creepy. The problem with this phobia is that once you have kids, there is no escaping it.

Clowns freak me out. I start to sweat, I feel nauseous, I feel dread, my heart starts beating faster, I feel like crying or screaming when a clown or just a picture of a clown is present. If I had my way, Ronald McDonald would be out of a job. My oldest son was a clown last year for Halloween and I thought I was going to have a heart attack...I couldn't look in my rear view mirror as I drove the kiddos to town to do some trick-or-treating. Just last weekend my husband and I took our kids to a local pumpkin farm and lo and behold, we walked through the entrance and there he was...a big-footed, red-shoed, red-nosed, orange fluffy haired clown...the image in my nightmares...I pushed the kids in front of me so I could dart around them and hopefully the clown wouldn't notice me...Everywhere I went he was there. EVERYWHERE!

There are no official numbers, but all over the web you'll find sites and blogs dedicated to scary clowns. In fact, I found a lot more sites dedicated to menacing clowns than I did sites dedicated to nice, friendly, funny clowns. Maybe they need a new Public Relations person... (don't call me) My family loves the story about how when I was 5 I was called down to the center ring at a local circus. I was called down because I won a drawing contest...I had to draw a picture of a circus (might I add, I had NO clowns in my fantastic, award-winning drawing) But when I got to the center ring, I heard bells behind me and as I turned around I saw about 500 clowns (OK, maybe not that many) running towards me... I thought they were going to eat me or abduct me and make me into a little clown minion... I sat down in the center ring and cried. Some of the audience laughed, others pointed (just like in those slow motion movies when someone is embarrassed) Time seemed to stand still, but the clowns did NOT stand still...They circled me like angry vultures. Eventually, my grandmother noticed that I was not laughing and she came to get me. My grandparents left the circus with me in tow and we never spoke about the "incident" again. Until I was in my late teens and recalled the story. Now it's a GRAND ole time to recount the story at family get-togethers.

It turns out a fear of clowns is a very real problem for some people. One website says people may be afraid  of clowns because a clown disguises his or her real emotions via makeup. That makes it impossible for the wimps who are scared to figure out whether the clown wants to give you a balloon or pull you down into the sewer. I found a photo of me as a very young child laying in my crib with some scary ass clown doll looking at me from the corner of the crib...he was just perched there watching my every move. I'm just a few months old and I look terrified...could my parents not see this? Could they not remove that terrible clown and burn it....But make sure it actually did burn and didn't jump out of the fire just to hide in my room and scare me again?

And WHY oh why can't there be a clown without that hollow bone chilling laugh that they all seem to be pros at? Seriously. Other then ax murderers and serial killers, no sane human should be able to laugh like that. If that doesn't convince you that full grown adults wearing rainbow colored M.C. Hammer pants are made of pure evil, take a look at John Wayne Gacy.

Did you know they made a movie called "Fear of Clowns?" We will probably be watching it in the coming weeks...because for some reason I like to torture myself like that.

First lesson learned: Watching a lot of horror movies is not, and never has been, a good idea for young brains still growing.

Second lesson learned: Would the world suffer in any way if clowns ceased to exist? I THINK NOT.

Third lesson learned: Never tell your spouse your worst fear. (That's for a later blog post)

Signs that it's Fall in my town...

1. As a result of overenthusiastic apple picking by many friends and family, you have 20 apples sitting in the fridge, 5 in the car and another 10 on the counter. You tell yourself constantly it would be fun to make homemade applesauce or a homemade apple pie. YOU NEVER DO because...

2. You spend all day Saturday cleaning out the closets and packing away the warm weather clothes, just in time to find out it's supposed to be temperatures of 70 and above all week.

3.  You walk into WalMart/KMart/Target and are bombarded with the scents of Christmas...and there they are the artificial trees and wreaths before you even carve a pumpkin...SO, you hurry the kids to the pumpkin farm and spend an evening carving pumpkins.

4. The kids don't believe you in the morning that it is actually morning because the sun isn't up and the moon and still shining bright...

5. The looming prospect of an extra hour of sleep from "falling back" makes you giddy with excitement.

6.  Your way home is decorated with political signs, which leads to some less-than-neighborly encounters.

7. The day after Halloween your overachieving neighbor is kicking the pumpkins and putting up inflatable Santas.

8. Meanwhile, your underachieving neighbor  is taking down the planters that are filled with brown, frost-bitten flowers and removing their Welcome Spring sign on the front door.

9. You want to keep up with the neighbors so on the day after Halloween, you kick the pumpkins, take down the welcome spring sign, throw away the frost-bitten flowers, and hang Christmas lights all in the same day....BECAUSE YOU ARE COOL LIKE THAT :)

"Got A Leaf...Lost A Shoe"

My main goal this morning was to get up early, get the boys ready, take a nice drive on the way to school to find the perfect leaf (my oldest son was given till today to take in a leaf), drop the boys off, go to the gym and then head to work.

I shouldn't plan in advance...or should I say daydream about how my day should be...

What really happened: My alarm went off at 6:30, I turned it off and said to myself, "It's too cold, I'm just gonna lay here for 15 minutes and I'll still have time." A text message woke my up at 6:57 (the boys have to be at school at 7:30) It takes us about 10-13 minutes to get them to school from our house....as you can imagine, my morning was not what I expected it to be. I jumped out of bed, ran to the shower, took a 2 minute 25 second shower...jumped out, boys still weren't up. 7:02 - ran downstairs to find my gym clothes...still in dryer and not dry. ARGHHHHH!!!! Ran back upstairs, found my work clothes. 7:08- boys crawl out of bed grumbling... 7:09 - brush through my hair (say to myself, don't look in any mirrors, just imagine you look great) 7:10 - run back downstairs, get wet gym clothes out of dryer, hang them on front door so I don't forget them THANK GOODNESS DURING THIS TIME MY HUBBY IS GETTING THE BOYS' CLOTHES AND BREAKFAST READY... 7:17 - Boys ready, lounging on couch eating breakfast.... 7:18 - out the door and everybody into the car. 7:19 - realize I forgot my phone....leave the car running so it warms up  (ice on the windshield...and no time to scrap it) Knock on door....send dog into panic...husband already in shower...run back to car, grab keys, unlock door, can't find my phone. Finally find it on the dryer... 7:29 - pull out of driveway.... 7:37 - made good time, going through town, pull over by a nice "fall colored" tree. Oldest son jumps out of car, finds the perfect leaf. It's here, that I must insert, that my youngest son calls me "Crazy mom." We speed away and make it to school just in time....swhooooo....WE MADE IT!!! Kiss and hug the boys, head to gym. Think to myself, "Wow! This is still gonna be a good day!" 

Pull into gym parking lot. Get dressed in car....not sure why I didn't head into the gym to change...sometimes I just don't think. Get one sneaker on, look everywhere for second sneaker. No where to be found. It hits me, when my son got out of the car, he must have accidentally knocked my shoe out....ARGGHHHHHH!!!!! Say a little prayer..."Please God, let my shoe still be there...I love those shoes! They are my FAVORITE sneakers!

Retrace my steps to the middle of town.... THERE IT IS!!! Right by the nice "fall-colored" tree!! YAY!!! 

Of course there's no where to park now...so I just pull over and double-park....Cause a slight traffic jam, but HEY! I found my FAVORITE SNEAKER!!

So, I didn't just get the perfect fall leaf for my oldest son, I also found my favorite sneaker and still made it everywhere I needed to be on time.

Moral of the story: It's good to be the crazy mom.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

Wow! If I could just remember this quote every single day, how sweet life would be. I cry somedays because I feel like I'm missing important steps in my kids' lives. I cried today because I forgot to send a leaf to school with my oldest son (that was his homework, to bring a single autumn leaf to school today) and who forgot... ME!!! Somedays, I just want to crawl back into bed and try to forget everything...all my responsibilities as a mom, wife, daughter, friend...but I like to think I would be missed. And of course, I would miss my responsibilities probably after only 5 minutes.

Growing up, I was my mom's life. She focused all of her energy on me. She had a schedule, we followed that schedule to a tee. I can't remember a time I was sent to school unprepared. So when I forget to send a leaf to school I feel as if I'm a terrible mom...an uncaring, unorganized mom.

But really a leaf...that's what I'm worrying about today?!?!?! A LEAF!?!?!? I'm sure the teacher had extras, I'm sure he's forgotten about the leaf already and he's enjoying his day with his friends...and I'm quite positive the leaf will never be mentioned again. BUT I still feel bad. How do some mom's seem so perfect and seem to have everything together? 

This is the moment, the exact moment, I needed to read the Dr. Seuss quote above.

I don't think my kids have had a single day without smiling or without laughter. One of my main goals in life is to have my kids laugh from their bellies (you know that deep, uncontrollable laughter) at least once a day. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. Sometimes it's hard to smile, but I try my hardest also to have a least one uncontrollable laugh a day.

These are the moments you have to focus on...the moments that will forever be memories...wonderful memories. Even if you can't remember why that uncontrollable laugh happened, you will always remember the happiness you felt while laughing that way.

So a lot has been happening at the Dysfunctional Dyson's...
We've added a new pet to our household, a 100+ pound Mastiff named Isis. She's adorable, I must admit, but as you can see in the photo to the right, she's a bit protective and personally I think she would like to eat Nigel (the cat)
I, personally am on a quest to find a new job. Yes, you heard me right, a new job. I don't want to sit behind a computer all day anymore, I want to get out and inspire the world...so I applied for a part-time activity aide at a senior home. Sadly, I have not heard anything yet, so I'm thinking I will be behind the computer for a few more months....ugggghhhh.
My husband is getting ready to go back to school to finish his bachelor's degree in Human Communication. After that he plans to take classes in Seminary and someday become a pastor...so yes, that would make me a pastor's wife in the future. Something I do look forward to, but makes me nervous just a teensy bit.  My husband is also looking for a job, a third shift job to be exact, so I'm thinking I won't see him too much in the coming semester. That makes me sad, but I guess in times like this you have to do what you have to do :)
Kemper is half-way through his 1st grade year and loving it. His biggest accomplishment this year (in his head) is that he is in charge of the playground shed. With this great responsibility he must make sure everything is in it's place so that the shed doors close at the end of recess. (Why can't he do this at home? I can never get his closet doors shut). He is learning to read, which is awesome! And today, he gets to read his very own book he made about his lizard (which died about a month ago) to the whole class. He told me he would write more to his book later, but for now he didn't want to discuss the death. The funny thing is, is that he never paid attention to the lizard when it was alive, but now since it's gone....well we talk about the lizard a lot.
Joey is halfway through his kindergarten year. He is the class clown from what I am told. (Proud momma moment: He's following in my footsteps to being voted class clown of his senior class.) Joey is also learning to read which just amazes me and he's also a whiz at math. (not following in my footsteps)
Emma is enjoying getting all the attention at home with her big brothers at school all day. She gets to see all the family members and friends, cause we are lucky enough to have family members and friends babysit for us during the day :) She is a delight and always keeps everyone on their toes.

Kemp and I had the pleasure of being in a community play over Christmas time. I have always really enjoyed theatre and was so excited he wanted to share in this quest with me! He was a shepherd (and the cutest shepherd in the play, I thought)

That's enough for now....don't want to overwhelm anyone with the coolness of the Dysfunctional Dyson's :)